Day 47 - Visit to Inmates on Probation

On Thursday, I got a little taste of the criminal justice department that deals with mental health under EPMHMR. I shadowed a case worker named Melissa who basically sees clients that are on probation. We visited the houses of ex inmates’ to make sure they were abiding by their contract drafted with their probation officer and were trying to get back on track. Since the individuals on probation have some sort of mental illness, we also went to check how they were doing mentally in terms of taking medication and overall behavior. All three consumers we visited, are living in housing provided by the government. It is housing that they will receive for one year to help them get their lives together. This particular program under EPMHMR is called Project Re-Direct, which exemplifies the program’s motive to help individuals get their lives back on track regardless of their past.

The first house we visited was of this man who is in his mid forties, early fifties. He was charged for aggravated assault because he was very violent. I was a bit nervous entering his home, but he greeted both Melissa and I with a smile that I came to realize was nothing but genuine. Melissa asked him the general questions: if the medication was giving him any sort of problems, does he feel anxious, depressed, suicidal, etc. For confidentiality purposes, let’s call him Mr. Nick. Somehow, in between all these check-up questions, Nick began to tell us his family history and how he ended up in jail. It was quite interesting, I must say. And sad to be honest. His siblings had taken away everything he had ever owned and cashed him out due to various family reasons. Then they pressed false accusations on Nick as a violent man and as someone who had been abusive. Due to his mental health condition, arrest was not hard to prosecute. But regardless of his family history, here he was, working, keeping his apartment tidy, and was clean from any sort of drugs and even alcohol. Mr. Nick had just treated himself to an elegant china set for his birthday that passed just last week. He was getting his life together and we all knew it. He mentioned how he did not really know anyone in El Paso. Nick said “You guys are my only friends” (referring to Melissa and his probation officer) and for some reason included me saying, “and now you, the intern.” It was the sweetest thing ever. I felt honored. Here I was, a complete stranger in HIS house and he had basically just shared his whole life story with me and included me in his circle of friends. I left Nick’s place thinking “this man is doing good for himself” and through the eyes of Project Re-Direct, he is a success story. Good for him.

The second person we visited has a completely different story. Again, for confidentiality purposes, let’s call this individual Ms. Smith. She is a woman in her late 20s, early 30s and has had 2 of her kids taken away from her by C.P.S (Child Protective Services) due to heavy drug and alcohol use. Ms. Smith is medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She has a history of cutting herself, being hit by men, and a dependency on men, whether it’s for the better or worse. As a child she was raped and sexually abused. Her mom, a prostitute forced Ms. Smith into the same kind of work and that’s all Ms. Smith has ever really known. I could not help but wonder how somebody could possibly go through all that. But here she was, the woman who had and I was sitting in her house on the floor.

When we first came up to Ms. Smith’s door, Melissa introduced her to me and asked if I could sit in. She said yes, but was reluctant. She wanted to show only Melissa something and so I waited outside her apartment door. I came to find out later that Ms. Smith’s current boyfriend, a man she took into her home because he got kicked out of his, cut him uncontrollably just last night and the bed in the bedroom was full of blood. He was sent off to the psychiatric ward until he becomes stable. Once Ms. Smith showed Melissa the after math of his crisis, I entered Ms.Smith’s home. Melissa began the check-in.

And just like Melissa warned me, it was very easy to pick up on Ms. Smith’s disorder. One minute she was crying, the next she was frustrated, and finally she’ll end up feeling hopeless. All throughout the check-in Ms. Smith kept saying “I just care about him so much” referring to her boyfriend who hits her and was sent of to the psychiatric ward. It was to the point where she said very desperately that “It doesn’t matter that he hits me. I’m used to it. I just want him to stop drinking.” It doesn’t matter that he hits her. It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. How can you possibly argue with someone who thinks like that? By allowing her boyfriend to live with her, Ms. Smith was violating so many rules of her probation. For one thing, she started to drink with him and drugs or alcohol are an absolute no. There’s no question about it. But since he drinks, alcohol is more readily available. I remember her saying “Well at least I don’t smoke crack anymore. I just drink a little.” She had replaced her means of intoxication and did not see anything wrong with it. She, a cutter, someone who is not mentally and even physically stable was taking care of someone who is just as unstable as her. None of it made any sense. I could tell she wanted to do good to get back on track. But she needs to let him go. She needs to take care of herself first and foremost. But who knows when she’ll make that realization.

Before Melissa and I said our good-byes, Ms. Smith got up from where she was sitting and turned over the blanket to show us spots of blood all over it from last night. I couldn’t help but stare and wonder how on earth someone could live the way she does. I guess I’ll never know, but can only hope for now that big changes will enter Ms. Smith’s life and that she begins to think about herself over any man.

The last person we visited was of a young mother. She has a 2 year old child from one guy who fled when he found out that she was pregnant and was caught. Ms. Lee (for confidentiality purposes) was similar to Ms. Smith in her blind trust in men. Ms. Lee is also an MR patient, meaning she has some level of mental retardation along with a mental disorder. She used to smuggle drugs from Juarez to El Paso under the guy’s request (her boyfriend at the time). But once she got caught, he left her, alone and pregnant. The same kind of circumstance occurred with her second baby’s daddy. Now Ms. Lee has a 2 year old and another one coming without anyone to help care raise her kids and she is on probation.

Regardless of Ms. Lee’s situation, there is hope. There’s always hope, but a brighter future can be seen. She is receiving help from her mother with her kids and she wasn’t running to guys like in the old days. As a matter a fact her second baby daddy has been trying to get in contact with her and she’s been declining him because “I hear he’s always partying and I don’t like that.” She could not have sounded like a better mother. Her babies had taken priority over any man and that was especially good to hear after leaving Ms. Smith’s place.

As I ended my day, it’s so crazy that so much of these situations are unknown to the public. It’s bad enough that mental health does not receive as much funding and man power as is needed to serve the people of this country, but education about mental health is also lacking. We need to educate the public about mental health, what it is, how it affects us, and what we can do to help the cause. But until we do that, then it will always be overlooked and will affect thousands of people for the worse because they will not receive the proper treatment they rightfully deserve.